Humor Maze (philosophies)
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PHILOSOPHIES
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
research.
To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your
principles.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never
tried before.
Change is inevitable....except from vending machines.
Don't sweat petty things....or pet sweaty things.
A fool and his money are soon partying.
Money can't buy love. But it CAN rent a very close imitation.
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Everybody repeat after me....."We are all individuals."
Death to all fanatics!
Chastity is curable, if detected early.
Don't be sexist; broads hate that!
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.
Beware of geeks bearing gifs.
Half the people you know are below average.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
Assumption is the mother of all fuckups.
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