Humor Maze (resume2)
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How bad a mistake can you make on your resume? Here are
some real-life examples:
*"My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels,
and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable."
*"Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in
computer science, curses in accounting."
*"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest
chain store."
* "Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet."
* "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a
horse."
* "I am a rabid typist."
*"Created a new market for pigs by processing, advertising
and selling a gourmet pig mail order service on the side."
* "Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not
appropriate for business."
* "Proven ability to track down and correct erors."
* "Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far."
*"I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely
nothing and absolutely no one."
*"References: None, I've left a path of destruction behind
me."
*"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining
composer."
* "Don't take the comments of my former employer too
seriously, they were unappreciative beggars and slave
drivers."
* "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess
no training in meteroology, I suppose I should try stock
brokerage."
* "I procrastinate--especially when the task is
unpleasant."
* "I am loyal to my employer at all costs ..Please feel
free to resond to my resume on my office voicemanil."
* "Qualifications: No education or experience."
* "Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."
* "Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."
* "Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on
my head!"
* Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to
hear from you shorty!"
* "Used a lot of latex"
More resume stuff
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